First things first....

Jimmy needham is a trigger.

i hope and pray that one day he wont be. but he is a depressive trigger. and so i have to cut him off completely.

SAD RIGHT!?

well, i met him and the next day wanted to catapult myself off the empire state building...

one day i will be able to tell him of my deliverance... but until then...

im just not gonna bother....

ok down to business...

TWO THINGS ARE VERY CLEAR TO ME:

1.) i want to work with christian artists.... interact with them. MC concerts. video blogging... <--- THESE THINGS ARE MY Gift/talent. i ENJOY THOROUGHLY DOING THEM!

2.) i want to travel to different countries... sharing good new thru music... learning their culture thru music...
and then raising awareness.... to Americans and to them of... well each other (if that make sense)....

THESE TWO THINGS i AM CERTAIN!

now i have to just WAIT ON GOD to open the doors.!

as i sated in a previous post the reason i started this blog was to track my progress.. as i make my journey back to god.

im not sure what happened... but i feel GOOD. my mind is opening and realizing ugly truths about myself...
.idkk.. i guess it;s god.

but i have been here before.

mayb christianity and relationship is NOT about feeling AT ALL.... but it's about KNOWLEDGE.

im still not sure....

i am patiently waiting for god to open doors.

i think he is purifying my intentions.

i want to live for god...
i am ready to START MY LIFE!

however at this moment i honeslt do not mind patiently waiting and growing...

i feel like saying this would be prideful however, i have said before "if i am growing and learing i don mind the pain".... even now... none of this "pain" that i have been through makes sense... i dont feel like i have learned anything from it... except to relentlessly desperately search for god...

mayb that is all that matters...

idkk. as of now though... i am readin steps to christ... felling good about waiting on god.