9-5....

so today i decided to break my day down. hour by hour... assing every hour a task... mainly working out and devo.... i started at 9 and my day ends at 5..... like a job....

the vibe of today was SO..... idkk... like the "old me" but better...


basically... i have been reading "steps to christ"....

as im sure i have stated im in a revamped try god phase...

basically i had a few epiphanies today....

1.) philippians 3:8 ---- EVEN my SANITY is WORTHLESS compared to the value of knowing god.... which is basically what i have been Learning... well, being taught... i DID loose my mind,and still havent gotten my sanity.... depression and suicide were NOT figmants of my imagination... i am being SET up for deliverance....but it is NESSECARY, it was all apart of Gods master plan....


2.) self relfection-- i have been reading about how god will reveal your "sins" to you the closer you get to him.... and all this stuff.... i have been PROGRAMMED to belive that tangible...actions were sins.... e.g sex drugs alchol... lies cheating... things of that nature.... and because THOSE THINGS DO NOT hold me bound... i was having a had time grasping the concept that I, the GOOD PERSON, i am am a sinner... who NEEDS grace... kind of like JOHN:)

basically i learned today... that i am LAZY...self justified... and proud.... also i complain and make excuses.... these things ARE SINS! just like lying, cheating and stealing.... i fell victim to my SINS and BLAMED GOD.... i am not onw who usually places blame elswhere, i am usually good for taking responsibility for my acions and admitting my mistakes... but for some reason i couldnt understand that what i was doin was wrong in terms of my relationship with god...

and now that i am AWARE of my sins, i am ready to be forgiven and ACTUALLY experiance gods grace....



Prayer--- i wont get into that right now... i prob will in my next post...


and lastly

Faith V Presumtion.
my pastor spoke on this On TBN...

basically... faith is beilieving and trustin not in yourself or the things thar could happen for you... but simply bealiveing.... while presumption... is beiling it to happen on YOUR terms... and then getting mad when it doesnt...

i was a victim of presumtion for a long time... but now that i am learning i can start my days and my life off with true ginuine faith...


SEE:)

i am learning,...

the purpose of this is PREVAILING:)