romans 6.

i sin for the sake of grace.
i realized it a while ago, and i TRIED so hard to stop.
but i am SO DESPERATE for something supernatural that i am willing to, idk- get an ed or become an alcoholic JUST to be radically saved. just to be saved period.
just to experiance a supernatural power that i am FIGHTING to belive in.

obviously just being a "good person" isnt grounds for....ANYTHING...
it holds no merit in LIFE in general.

the prodigal sons brother... THATS ME! i am the prodigal sons brother...

NO ONE NOTICES no ONE CARES UNTIL YOU SCREW UP!

idkk how to even finish this....AND BACK to learn a lesson.


i spent my WHOL LIFE being a good person.
refraining from certaint things because i know it was not nesseacry for my walk wih christ...
i knew i didnt need to "experiance" the world to know what i had "at home"....

i was a good perosn.
a good christian.

it was until i started looking for more... trying to make it real... did things fall apart.

it wasnt until i actually started SEEKING GOD did things turn to calamity.

i just dont know.

i just dont know.

i just dont know.

i am so confused.

i am so confused.

i just want something to believe in.

i just want something to be REAL!